"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
                - Mark Twain

3/13/2012 05:44:30 am

I LOVE Mark Twain. Re: caregiver burnout. I have had bouts of this many times over the last 5 years. If I may expand on Darlene's thoughts, the patient has very little expected of them. Not saying that's bad, it's just a fact as they are dealing with the medical problem firsthand. Caregivers are left to pick up that slack and SO MUCH is expected of them. It's not an easy job and I can tell you that I cried so much in the beginning, I thought I would dehydrate myself completely, though I did not do it in front of my hubby or kid. This will pass. It's fine to let that steam off but after a time, I found it too exhausting and you switch into "wonder woman" mode. Be kind to yourself. Don't chastise yourself for feeling what anyone would feel in your shoes. And you really have to break things down into smaller "bites." Organize your week and just concentrate on doing what has to be done this week, appts. etc. You can think about later.............later. You need time to mourn your life as you knew it. Acceptance will come with time. It's a hard path that was chosen for us, but we do it, because we have to, and because we care about our husbands so darn much.

3/13/2012 01:50:38 pm

I do agree with you that crying is very exhausting. I try to hold it in as long as possible. But the times I am alone...in the shower...at night on the computer....when someone sends a sympathetic email...those are the times I can't hold back the tears. The worst of those though is during my morning shower. That will set the tone for the whole day if I give in there. Thankfully I'm still half asleep and usually don't start my brain functioning yet. *g*


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